{"product_id":"clusterfuck-paperback","title":"Clusterfuck - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003eby \u003cb\u003eCarlton Mellick  III\u003c\/b\u003e (Author)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eA bunch of douchebag frat boys get trapped in a cave with subterranean cannibal mutants and try to survive not by using their wits but by following the bro code . . . \u003c\/b\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e From master of bizarro fiction Carlton Mellick III, author of the international cult hits \u003ci\u003eSatan Burger\u003c\/i\u003e and \u003ci\u003eAdolf in Wonderland\u003c\/i\u003e, comes a violent and hilarious B movie in book form. Set in the same woods as Mellick's splatterpunk satire \u003ci\u003eApeshit\u003c\/i\u003e, Clusterfuck follows Trent Chesterton, alpha bro, who has come up with what he thinks is a flawless plan to get laid. He invites three hot chicks and his three best bros on a weekend of extreme cave diving in a remote area known as Turtle Mountain, hoping to impress the ladies with his expert caving skills. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e But things don't quite go as Trent planned. For starters, only one of the three chicks turns out to be remotely hot and she has no interest in him for some inexplicable reason. Then he ends up looking like a total dumbass when everyone learns he's never actually gone caving in his entire life. And to top it all off, he's the one to get blamed once they find themselves lost and trapped deep underground with no way to turn back and no possible chance of rescue. What's a bro to do? Sure he could win some points if he actually tried to save the ladies from the family of unkillable subterranean cannibal mutants hunting them for their flesh, but fuck that. No slam piece is worth that amount of effort. He'd much rather just use them as bait so that he can save himself. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e It's Tucker Max versus \u003ci\u003eThe Descent\u003c\/i\u003e in this gore-filled comedy for the camp horror fan. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNumber of Pages:\u003c\/strong\u003e 252\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 0.57 x 8.5 x 5.5 IN\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIllustrated:\u003c\/strong\u003e Yes\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePublication Date:\u003c\/strong\u003e October 01, 2013\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Books by splitShops","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42741474721855,"sku":"9781621051176","price":31.08,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0105\/8226\/1823\/files\/7d404cb1cd0c55581012c58f95d3b5ac.webp?v=1765161247","url":"https:\/\/dhlswag.com\/products\/clusterfuck-paperback","provider":"BBB","version":"1.0","type":"link"}