{"product_id":"dont-feed-the-trolls-paperback","title":"Don't Feed the Trolls - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003eby \u003cb\u003eJacob Peppers\u003c\/b\u003e (Author)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHero Checklist for a long and happy life: \u003c\/b\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cb\u003eStep One: \u003c\/b\u003e Don't be a hero.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eStep Two: \u003c\/b\u003e If by some horrible miscalculation, a man finds himself a hero, then he should not, under any circumstances, accept a \"quest.\" Particularly one including magical rings, swords in stones, or any talk of \"chosen ones.\" Quests, after all, are only death with a lot of walking beforehand.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eStep Three: \u003c\/b\u003e If said hero is so foolish as to actually find himself on a quest, he is advised to run heroically for the nearest exit. He'll die anyway, but if the gods are kind, he'll do so with an ale in his hand.\u003cbr\u003eP.S. The gods are never kind.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eStep Four: \u003c\/b\u003e If the unfortunate soul is unable to find an exit-or at least one not containing a rampaging troll-he should, by any means necessary, ensure that there are as many people between him and the troll as possible in the hopes that it won't be hungry by the time it reaches him.\u003cbr\u003eP.S. Trolls are always hungry.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eStep Five: \u003c\/b\u003e If all else fails and a hero finds himself confronting a mythical monster or a magic-wielding necromancer, he is to draw his sword. It won't help, but it will give him something to do while he waits to die.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eStep Six: \u003c\/b\u003e If \"death\" outcome is unacceptable, see steps 1-4. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eDannen Ateran had never gone so far as to write the list out, but he knew it by heart. He ought to, as he had been telling it to himself for years and himself-fool that he was-had been ignoring it for just as long. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eSo it was that he found himself standing beside Fedder, Mariana, and Tesler, watching as an undead dragon soared toward them. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eAnd if, by some feat of magic or luck-with undead dragons, skill rarely factored into it-they survived, there was only the little issue of a master swordsman and his necromancer brother to worry about, not to mention an undead horde.\u003cbr\u003ePlenty of ways to die, then, if a man liked a little variety with his suffering.\u003cbr\u003eAnd the week was just getting started. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eDon't Feed the Trolls is book two of The Antiheroes, an epic fantasy series by Jacob Peppers, the author of the bestselling grimdark fantasy series The Seven Virtues. It is a tale of mythical creatures and magic, of swordsmen, necromancers and undead hordes. Do you enjoy character driven fantasy with a lot of action and humor? Then come and enjoy the fun. Just...don't feed the trolls, alright? \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eIt only makes them hungrier.\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNumber of Pages:\u003c\/strong\u003e 362\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 0.75 x 9.02 x 5.98 IN\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePublication Date:\u003c\/strong\u003e July 21, 2021\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Books by splitShops","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42735552495679,"sku":"9798540877275","price":22.66,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0105\/8226\/1823\/files\/71af2bba16c982ed12b763a07e601427.webp?v=1765143872","url":"https:\/\/dhlswag.com\/products\/dont-feed-the-trolls-paperback","provider":"BBB","version":"1.0","type":"link"}