{"product_id":"hell-of-death-paperback","title":"Hell of Death - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003eby \u003cb\u003eVince Kramer\u003c\/b\u003e (Author)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBE WARNED: this book has so much fucking death in it it's unbelievable  \u003cbr\u003e There's a whole truckload of death  There's more death in this book than ten 9\/11s combined  You know the end of \u003cem\u003eRaiders of the Lost Ark\u003c\/em\u003e where all the Nazis' faces melt off? It's like that but for an entire book.\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e It all starts with a school shooting where a bunch of teens totally get massacred like a bunch of little crybabies. It's brutal as fuck  But as if that wasn't enough, these massacred millennials GO TO HELL  OH MY GOD (or lack thereof). Not only that, but the school shooter dies too and follows them there  He's still shooting at them, but this time, if they die--they die FOREVER. (NO WAY ) We'll meet several demons as they travel through the nine circles of Hell, and they're all totally cool as fuck  You've got Beelzebub, the demon lord of bugs  He's the shit. And you've got Lucifer, the Lord of Light (and a total dick ) Asmodeus--the lord of perversity. I could go on and on, but trust me, they're all so totally evil you'll think you're literally seeing the number 666 on every page \u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e Hell of Death is an offensive, hilarious adventure through the depths of Hell where Satan is like your cool older brother. And at the center of it all is the Hell House, Hell's version of the White House, with its own president and everything. So it's all political and shit, too. But not too political. There's literally a scene where you can't even keep reading anymore because a pit opens beneath you and screaming demons pull you down into the abyss  YOU'LL DIE  HOLY SHIT  Don't read this book without drawing an upside cross on your forehead and a pentagram on the floor. Yell out \"Hail Satan \" after every page if you want to survive  And if you don't even want to live anymore, then kill yourself with the special \u003cem\u003eHell of Death\u003c\/em\u003e razor blade (sold separately). Satan will be waiting for you  \u003cbr\u003e SATAN WAITS FOR US ALL \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNumber of Pages:\u003c\/strong\u003e 188\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 0.43 x 7 x 5 IN\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePublication Date:\u003c\/strong\u003e June 01, 2020\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Books by splitShops","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42710128361535,"sku":"9781621052845","price":27.62,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0105\/8226\/1823\/files\/6b982eccff0a5e86a1e4a4b99c911c23.webp?v=1765053848","url":"https:\/\/dhlswag.com\/products\/hell-of-death-paperback","provider":"BBB","version":"1.0","type":"link"}