{"product_id":"things-better-than-boobs-paperback","title":"Things Better Than Boobs - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003eby \u003cb\u003eTheodore Rasbury\u003c\/b\u003e (Author)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eThings Better than BOOBS\u003c\/i\u003e is creative, suspenseful, sarcastic, and laughter provoking all at once. It's hilarious and clever take-home message campaigns loudly for an agreeably timeless yet generally unspoken notion. It is a brilliant gift idea for any humorous occasion and a \u003ci\u003emust have\u003c\/i\u003e on any book shelf or coffee table where sarcasm meets intellectual wit. \u003c\/p\u003e \u003ch3\u003eAuthor Biography\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e  At an early age Rasbury became widely recognized as the informal leader of \u003cem\u003ePerson's with Influence \u003c\/em\u003e(PWI), an indigenous and sought after societal group both intimidating and selective in its recruitment of members. Practicing a form of ancient \u003cem\u003esophistry, \u003c\/em\u003e they offered general knowledge and unspoken services in exchange for money and gifts. Sophistry was intensely popular in pre-socratic times but lost momentum until Rasbury rekindled its' fundamental principles. Dubbed as PWI's ringleader, horse whispers around town say Rasbury was Marlon Brando's inspiration for the \u003cem\u003eGodfather\u003c\/em\u003e character.   Rasbury's major money-maker came after he started \u003cem\u003eI'll Eat\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eYou, Inc., \u003c\/em\u003e a company focused on crafting personalized chocolate pops. After Rasbury split from PWI, he fell in love with a botanist named Kitten, only to have his best old x-friend Ray pilfer and marry her. But knowing Kitten's exact dimensions, and to infuriate Ray, Rasbury crafted delicous chocolate \"Kitten Pops,\" distributing them nationally with this slogan: \"Have your way with Kitten, my x-friends wife, she's delicous!\" Shortly thereafter, I'll Eat You, Inc. took off like a jitterbug, creating and distributing chocolate molds for over 3,500 people daily.   On the side, Rasbury is also a free-lance writer, motivational speaker, and inventor of the rare color \u003ci\u003edunebuggy brown\u003c\/i\u003e. He also owns the chain \u003cem\u003eNip N' Cuts, \u003c\/em\u003e a topless barber shop that exceeds over $1 billion in annual sales. Some argue that sales of \u003cem\u003eNip N' Cuts\u003c\/em\u003e would be greater if Rasbury didn't air-condition each location. But Rasbury sticks to his maxim: \"the colder the shop, the more magical the experience.\" Rasbury will soon be launching another highly anticipated product, \u003cem\u003eErotic GPS: \u003c\/em\u003e \"\u003cem\u003eSexed Up\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eNavigation for those who cum and go\u003c\/em\u003e.\" Rasbury's recent case study showed that the market for a dirty-talkin' GPS is bigger than the directional voice will make you.   For more information, visit TheodoreRasbury.com.  \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNumber of Pages:\u003c\/strong\u003e 128\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 0.3 x 9 x 6 IN\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePublication Date:\u003c\/strong\u003e May 11, 2009\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Books by splitShops","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42717966041151,"sku":"9781438967226","price":20.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0105\/8226\/1823\/files\/e225a0e3da73c36b03f84ac74fc1b94d.webp?v=1765080263","url":"https:\/\/dhlswag.com\/products\/things-better-than-boobs-paperback","provider":"BBB","version":"1.0","type":"link"}